In Space Nobody Can Hear You Swear
I’m just going to say this up front: I have no coordination and no ability to navigate. I also get extremely motion sick whether something is actually moving or not (Imax, YUCK!). It’s a fucking miracle that I drive my car to work every day and don’t crash or puke.
That said, I have never done space in this game. Never! But my gray shirt needs pants, and I think the space-pants might be the key. Good thing I think the 70 comm pants will work. I did not want to have to grind to the 200 comm pants.
So, I took the lowest level space mission and hopped in my unmodified ship and was ready to go.
The first time, I failed spectacularly.
Protip #1 Space is a lot easier when you have the space UI turned on. I did not, as I had disabled and moved the space bits to the side while I was designing the rest of my awesome UI. Derp on me.
The second time, UI turned back on, I also failed. Swearing ensued. I think even the cat was shocked at the level of profanity.
Now, as everyone knows, skill is more important than gear, but gear can compensate for a bit of lack of skill. So I hopped back onto the fleet and grabbed some level 5 upgrades. Hell, I’m throwing credits at everything else lately.
Back in the ship I was totally going to KICK ASS… oh… nope, failed 2 more times. Seriously fucking pathetic.
The fifth time around I kicked the space mission’s ass. Or escorted some idiot somewhere. Whatever. 4 comms. The pants I want: 70 comms. Sigh.
Protip #2: you can upgrade your ship but you can’t upgrade the ship that you’re escorting. Boo. This makes escort missions annoying no matter how good your ship is.
I decided to try a different mission the second time, one that didn’t involve escorting some idiot somewhere. I successfully killed all the things with about a minute to spare. I WAS PUMPED! Then I saw the reward and it was 1 lousy comm. Additional swearing ensued.
I’m also not very good at dodging asteroids since I’m not fully in control of the direction my ship goes. I have no clue whether to go right or left side, since at any second I could be turned without my knowledge or consent and get squished into the edge of the screen with a giant rock. I call shenanigans on having to avoid things when you’re not even driving!
I’m going to have to get a lot better at this for me to get the pants. The things we do for fashion.
(As of this morning, I’m at 54 out of 70 comms, which is reassuring. If the pants turn out to colormatch poorly with the prospective shirt(s), I might Go Turbo. Yes, I have seen Wreck It Ralph 3 times already.)