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Have you ever spent any amount of time on the fleet? If so, you’ve seen the fashions and the names that make you throw up a little in your mouth. This page is dedicated to those fashions (and names) – captured by me and submitted by readers.
Click the category headings to show images. Click pictures to embiggen… if you dare.
Bikini, Underboob, and Sideboob
I thought nothing could clash worse with blue skin. I was incorrect.
I don’t think “Evil” goes well with “blueberry.”
The. Shoes.
Why is it that bikinis go with Barbie hair more often than not (seriously, you will notice this everywhere)
To add insult to injury, no pants with the underboob.
I just do not GET these weird half-pant-things. Maybe she peed her pants.
Do not wear red if you are green. Someone might try to hang ornaments on you.
But spray tans are so HOT with my green suit. I’m gonna win that bodybuilding competition.
Underboob without pants is catching on
Where is this giant gun attached?
Stop with the (furry) boob already!
See, here are my organs. Please stab them. I don’t need them anyway.
I have absolutely no idea where the “holster” is for this gun.
Let’s overcompensate for lack of armor with the monster utility belt. (Not blue batman..)
Where is that attached?
Obviously if you dress with a veil over your eyes, you might not get a good result.
Matching pants to hair… at least she’s wearing pants if nothing else useful. Please aim here at my uncovered organs.
Leaf butt is dumb enough without a bikini
Looks like she ran butt-first into a large spiderweb.
I spy with my little eye, someone who is dressed better than I (literally ANYONE else).
This is so typical of fleetwear, I wonder why I bothered to add it to the gallery.
Looks totally bizarre from this angle
I’d wear a mask to obscure my identity too if I were wearing that.
Falling into a tank of pepto bismol is a real danger on the fleet.
Pants?
We have a serious galactic problem – namely a pants shortage.
Honey? Where are my paaaants?
What the eff is THIS?
So close to a good outfit. Just wear pants.
It’s like a squirrel with a bushy tail.
It looks like she’s got no top on and the bottoms look like pubes!
This might be a zebra.
Pants shortages are everywhere!
Weird bikini pants don’t count as pants.
Looks like she peed her pants blue.
Did her underpants grow a cape?
I still can’t figure out what those weird flaps on the front are supposed to be.
My jacket zipper is stuck my zipper is… ah screw it.
Are garters that hold up nothing like a bridge to nowhere?
Feels a little breezy in here…
If you wear this on a tauntaun, there will be chafing. Be warned.
Wax? Please.
The dye job just looks like pubes.
A terrible bee. Bzzt.
Overly protective boots won’t save you when you’re not wearing pants, or any covering for your organs.
I call this one “S&M Barbie on a Lizard”
Be vewy quiet, i’m hunting wabbits… why are they laughing at me?
Note the belt-shaped gap in the middle.
Please wear pants if you’re going so sit like that
I’m a barbie girl, in a barbie world. My boobs are plastic. It’s fantastic!
I think she missed the point of wearing long boots in the tall grass to avoid ticks.
This coat doesn’t keep me warm at ALL.
Looks like she was undressing and then got distracted and left the jacket half on.
Looks like the superhero, Candy Cane Vomit.
Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a flasher!
This just looks like pubes. Dye fail.
Totally a miniskirt… right guys? Right? Why are you laughing at me?
Stupid Hats
(and other poor fashion choices)
My friend calls this hat a “vagina.” Now I can’t wear it. Ever. Thanks.
I promise I won’t wear it with THAT outfit.
Consular Fail, a study in bananahands and lemonhat.
No, guys, it’s NOT a boomerang. It’s a totally legitimate hat…
Matching will not save you from a terribad hat.
Antlers? Really?
The mullet of outfits. Party on top, business on bottom.
Terrible Dyes, Naked Dyes, and Hair Dye
Do not dye your hair to match your clothes.
Flashers… again.
And an um.. nakeder xmas tree.
Just because a dye kit exists, that doesn’t make it a good idea. Also, HAT!
Red and purple is a trap.
Color Fail
Harley Quinn, the bee.
Friends don’t let friends dye their armor creamsicle.
I did a double take on this one – it looked like she was topless for a second there!
This looks like a booger.
I’d be ashamed if I were naked in public too.
Christmas tree, complete with lights.
Boys Behaving Badly
At least he commits to his theme.
Legolas tries to go metrosexual and fails.
Whatever party they’re going to, I want an invitation.
My girlfriend said I’d look SO HOT as an imperial schoolgirl.
The smile really sells this outfit.
Not wealthy enough for a shirt.
This cat just looks… weird.
Companion Punishment and other Groups of Morons
Companions should go on strike.
Superhero secret power: flashing
At least the name matches.
I wonder what Doc did to deserve this punishment. He’s no Quinn.
Ew
Do these remind you of baboon butts?
Clearly Nadia offended her jedi teacher.
The creamsicle duo.
Seriously Ew.
Do not wear only one piece of glowing gear. It looks stupid.
But it takes 3 to be really creepy.
I must get this dye kit to punish Quinn.
Kira and Akaavi are not amused.
Redrum!
These two also have problems with finding pants.
Clipping Disasters, Cyborfail, and other Miscellaneous Bad
Mixed messages: sexy top, no genitals.
It completely ruins the effect with that awful clipping.
Not only is this stupid, it clips.
Is that weird pink flap supposed to match?
She’s dancing for her meow mix.
Silly Names
Were the proper spellings taken?
Because nobody has thought of THAT one before.
An example of a default from-the-trainer dye. You do not want to be making this one. Bleh.