Chapter 11: Skytroopers, Swamp, And Seasickness
Yes, I know I haven’t dealt with Chapter 10 yet, and I don’t feel like it. Maybe later. On to Chapter 11!
**SPOILERS BELOW**
Anyhoo, my goody-two shoes bounty hunter went searching for Major Hairball and found him in my favorite place: the swamp. I probably didn’t mention this before, but I hate the fucking swamp. Worst part of KOTFE.1
Sir Fluffykins was his typical moralizing hardass self. It doesn’t create goodwill with your alliance when you start off threatening to shoot em. The alliance was doing just fine without His Grand Furriness and his pack of Havoc Squad B-Team kthx, so don’t think you’re doing us a favor.
At least by the time I got around to doing this chapter, Chairman Meow was clothed.2 He mentioned Saresh pulling the puppet strings on the chancellor. Wait, Saresh is the chancellor! What the fuck happened? Maybe this makes sense from the pub side, but as an Imp whose chapter 50 story involved the chancellor before Saresh, this makes me feel way behind the times.3 Of course, it might have been something that I failed to pay attention to. Sometimes I zone out during boring exposition.
When we were doing… whatever the fuck Winston Furchill wanted to do. Oh right, save civilians. We were saving civilians when who should show up but skytroopers.4 So. Surprising. I’m very tired of skytroopers. Please, please create something new like radioactive giant killer kangaroos. Carrying grenades in their pouches. It totally works. But no, instead of deadly marsupials we’re stuck with skytroopers that repopulate like space bunnies.
Where does seasickness come in, you ask? Well, I’m an idiot, first off. Instead of using a guide to find the clicky panels in the final battle, I searched for them the old-fashioned non-cheater way… and ran around… and swiveled the camera back and forth and up and down. I made myself motion sick. Why do I even play video games at all?
After I decided I wasn’t going to yak, I finished off the chapter. I yabbered with the idiots in the base, and then was told to relax in the cantina. I hauled ass to the cantina and sat down and right then one of my morons calls me back to base. I was just there. Fine!
I stomped back to base in a foul mood, only to find my idiots bickering with each other. Lana was about to murder them and I agreed. There was unfortunately no murder annoying alliance members dialogue choice. I would have taken the dark side hit for a little peace and quiet.
As a final note, my so-called romance with Koth is not even a thing. For the last 2 chapters, he hasn’t made a peep. Maybe there’s a makeout session in Chapter 12.
- Unless Skadge returns, in which case he will be the worst part of everything. ↩
- I have two cats at home and they are unabashed nudists. I am not interested in further feline nakedness. ↩
- Incidentally, going through the Taris pub side after “streamlined leveling” was implemented, I was shocked that I didn’t come across Saresh at ALL in the main planetary story arc. She’s kind of a big deal. ↩
- You’d think that we had exterminated every one of those little fuckers in Chapter 10 because, good lord, that was like… set a bomb, kill 10 skytroopers, repeat x6. ↩