In case you are not familiar with the terminology, Consulars, unlike Inquisitors, THROWRAWKS (pronounced: “throw rocks”) at things. THROWRAWKS!
Solid rocks are far more dangerous than that insubstantial sissy purple lightning. I’m always counseling my 5-year-old not to throw rocks, but I don’t bother talking about purple lightning. (If some kid gets purple lightning to the FACE, he probably deserved it.)
When I last was playing my sage, I discovered:
- Being evil is difficult and makes you look terrible.
- I am terribad at being a sage, in both healing and THROWRAWKS (I haven’t written about this, but I assure you, I totally suck)
- Theran is a tool
Makes me want to jump right back in, right? But, as much as I love gunslinging, it is a totally useless alt to have, as my main is already pure dps. And consular healer seems like the logical choice because:
- I am an abysmally bad tank and a quite competent healer (at least in other games)
- I suck at managing energy/ammo/heat because of the weird variable regeneration rates (which takes scoundrel and commando out of the running)
- Consular is a pretty powerful healer!
If only consular weren’t so boring... The story is boring. The character is boring. The combat is boring. The companions are boring. Even being an evil consular is boring.
Maybe I need to pay the cartel coins for HK so we can evilly delete some organic troublemakers together.
I mean, seriously, THARAN! He gets to Hoth and he’s all whiny about the cold, and tauntaun shit getting on his imported boots. Here’s the gist of his scintillating storyline so far: ***SPOILERS BELOW***
Tharan: Hey, I want to do science shit.
Me: OK, but that’s not really our mission on this ship, whatever. In fact, I don’t even recall inviting you aboard. And who are these assholes in my conference room?
Holiday: (insert inane, annoying blathering here)
Tharan: Now, Holiday, we’ll have weird holo-sex later. But about my ever-so-important science.
Me: I’m waiting for any blathering that doesn’t make me want to vomit… continue.
Tharan: I um need you to buy me some liquor so I can invent better. Yeah, that’s it. (Double entendre optional here.)
Me: Go fuck yourself, or have Holiday do it for you. I’m not buying you booze.
[Tharan: -41 of Sobriety]
Tharan: God, you’re no fun. Oh well, off to do more science! Holiday!
Holiday: (TEE HEE IN THE MOST ANNOYING WAY POSSIBLE)
Me: (Where is the [Remove Holiday's Batteries] dialogue option?)
Yeah, that’s my life.
Tell me how awesome this toon will be at endgame, please?