Spoiler Warning!

This is end of Chapter 9 stuff.  And even if you have been through Chapter 9, you may not have made the same decisions and this is all news to you.

Herein lies what happens when you [flirt] with Koth.

You have been warned.

***SPOILERS BELOW***

Now that we have all the disclaimers out of the way, yeah, I decided my bounty hunter would [flirt] with Koth.  Even though, upon waking, she had two love letters – one from Torian, one from Theron.  Awkward. Nonetheless, both of them were kind of sucky boyfriends so there was very little guilt in her decision to find out whether that was a welding torch in Koth’s pocket.

Early on, there’s the standard [flirting].  Conversation goes something like this:

Issen: Come back alive!

Koth: It’s more romantic if one of us comes back half dead

Boy has a strange view of romance.  At which point HK-55 delivers a zinger:

Oh HK, sniff sniff.  It was right before that battle.  SNIFF.

Issen decided not to accept Valkorion’s help because, you know, evil.  And, if you haven’t taken that option, it means you get stabbed with a lightsaber.  Like big hole in stomach stabbed.

After the battle was over, Koth is happy to see me!  Is that a welding torch in your… oh never mind, my guts are spilling out.  After Issen feebly [flirts] with Koth, “hey you were right about the ‘half dead’ part” he kisses her.  Dude, not the time!  Worried more about getting medical help for disemboweling, not your smoochies.  Worst. First kiss.  Ever.

I was, in fact, so shocked that I forgot to take a screenie, and instead let out a few choice swear words.  At which point Little Jedi looked up from what she was doing on her PC and asked what was going on.  I explained the situation and she rolled her eyes.  Boys, right?

After the big gaping wound situation is resolved and we’re in Odessen, who should show up but Theron!  Issen [flirted] with him and he pretty much brushed her off.  Yeah, between that reunion, the whining about mommy issues, and the awkward moments on Ziost, he’s not making his case as to why he’s better than Koth.¹  Is that a data spike in yer pocket… oh never mind.

At the final cantina scene, I get the option to talk to someone privately. There’s a not-[flirt] option for this, and a [flirt] option.  I picked the [flirt] option.  I’m then prompted to choose between Theron and Koth.

I’d never [flirted] with Lana on this toon so she wasn’t in the running.  Obviously, I chose Koth because Theron is such a tool.  And I don’t mean the data spike in his… up his… oh never mind.

After a few more [flirts], there’s a popup box asking if I want to start a romance with Koth.

This is new!  I wish I had had such a popup with my other strange interactions with [flirt] NPC’s.  I also wish I had had such an option to say yea or nay before Mr. Turned-On-By-Entrails decided that it was totally appropriate to make a first move when the target of his romantic interest has just been impaled. Spleens are so hot.

Stay tuned as we navigate the sticky threads of romance with the guy who wears goggles on his hair but can’t be bothered to put said goggles over his eyes when he’s welding.