Obviously you guys love your bikinis, but I cannot stress this enough:

There are crotch flaps and butt flaps attached to the top.  They always look stupid!

Observe, this might be marginally acceptable from the front, even though you can see the crotch flap clipping through the skirt.

However, from the back, it’s horrendous.

Why, by the way, would you pair the flashy bikini top with that raggedy skirt (Sandpeople bloodguard from the world event, I think)?

Now, a “how” for you.  HOW do you strap an assault cannon to your back whilst wearing a bikini? “Seasons Greetings” tape like in Die Hard?1  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, fix that.  Seriously.


Upon collaboration with several twitterati, I have decided to start a campaign to “Ban Overused Obnoxious Bikinis” or “BOOB” for short.


C wut he did thar?

Until next time, remember, only you can prevent fashion disasters.

  1. But I decided not to include a picture of the movie scene because, ugh, there is a *lot* of blood.


Do Not Wear This (Ever) — 2 Comments

  1. The psychosexual implications of a nearly naked toon with a giant penis cannon strapped to her back while riding a phallic speeder are way, way to disturbing to contemplate.

    And I just contemplated it. Off to wash out my brain