In Space Nobody Can Hear You Swear

I’m just going to say this up front: I have no coordination and no ability to navigate.  I also get extremely motion sick whether something is actually moving or not (Imax, YUCK!).  It’s a fucking miracle that I drive my car to work every day and don’t crash or puke.

That said, I have never done space in this game.  Never!  But my gray shirt needs pants, and I think the space-pants might be the key.  Good thing I think the 70 comm pants will work.  I did not want to have to grind to the 200 comm pants.

So, I took the lowest level space mission and hopped in my unmodified ship and was ready to go.

The first time, I failed spectacularly.

Protip #1 Space is a lot easier when you have the space UI turned on.  I did not, as I had disabled and moved the space bits to the side while I was designing the rest of my awesome UI.  Derp on me.

The second time, UI turned back on, I also failed. Swearing ensued. I think even the cat was shocked at the level of profanity.

Now, as everyone knows, skill is more important than gear, but gear can compensate for a bit of lack of skill.  So I hopped back onto the fleet and grabbed some level 5 upgrades.  Hell, I’m throwing credits at everything else lately.

Back in the ship I was totally going to KICK ASS… oh… nope, failed 2 more times.  Seriously fucking pathetic.

The fifth time around I kicked the space mission’s ass.  Or escorted some idiot somewhere.  Whatever.  4 comms.  The pants I want: 70 comms.  Sigh.

Protip #2: you can upgrade your ship but you can’t upgrade the ship that you’re escorting.  Boo. This makes escort missions annoying no matter how good your ship is.

I decided to try a different mission the second time, one that didn’t involve escorting some idiot somewhere.  I successfully killed all the things with about a minute to spare.  I WAS PUMPED!  Then I saw the reward and it was 1 lousy comm.  Additional swearing ensued.

I’m also not very good at dodging asteroids since I’m not fully in control of the direction my ship goes.  I have no clue whether to go right or left side, since at any second I could be turned without my knowledge or consent and get squished into the edge of the screen with a giant rock.  I call shenanigans on having to avoid things when you’re not even driving!

I’m going to have to get a lot better at this for me to get the pants. The things we do for fashion.

(As of this morning, I’m at 54 out of 70 comms, which is reassuring.  If the pants turn out to colormatch poorly with the prospective shirt(s), I might Go Turbo.  Yes, I have seen Wreck It Ralph 3 times already.)

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    In Space Nobody Can Hear You Swear — 6 Comments

    1. on my sniper, I did space missions almost daily… which is also why I headed to each planet at an average of 5 levels above recommended………. (that along with logging off on the ship all the time, TONS of rest exp… it NEVER depleted…)

      I’m okay with directions and orientations (one of my strongest score on IQ tests along with logic) so that’s not really much of a trouble…

      basically, your ship moves to where your pointer is and when you try to avoid something, stop shooting and concentrate on avoiding.

      escort missions are “easy” in the sense that NONE of the ships attack you, so you can concentrate on hitting EVERYTHING you see on sight.

      the other trick is to know how many “shots” it takes to kill a ship or turret… especially on that first Escort mission, with lvl 5 parts, you can kill everything within 2 shots… because of that, and the blast travel time, you can just hit, move along to next target, hit, and next, etc. don’t need to wait for them to hit and confirm they’re dead. (so you’re basically shooting with a lead time)

      oh and … you can hold your right click and drag over 4 targets to let missiles deal with them (self targeting, and MAGICALLY flies THROUGH obstacles, aka NEVER miss, 100% accuracy cheat rockets)

    2. I <3 space battles. One of the things that makes them easier also took me a really long time to master. Yes you move your ship with the mouse, and you fire wherever the pointer is. But. You can also adjust your ship's position in a small square around the mouse pointer using the WASD keys. This lets you do tricky things like keep shooting at enemy ships while still avoiding incoming fire or asteroids. Definitely takes some practice but is incredibly useful for the more difficult missions!

    3. LOL @ accidentally removing your space UI. I’m surprised that’s even possible.

      I’m not a big fan of the space missions myself. I like the first three well enough, but everything afterwards is basically the same thing only the enemies have more life and hit harder. While I never struggled with the lowest level ones, I tried one of the medium ones where the game “recommends” rank 3 ship upgrades, but even with rank 5 items I got obliterated within seconds. Seconds! That’s when I decided that I didn’t care that much about my skill at the space game. :P

      • yeah… I managed to beat them all (Hot Shot Pilot … BOO YEAH!) but one time I was so tired, while waiting for HMFP to pop that I decided to do a higher level space mission… but didn’t last very long… it DOES take a lot of focus!

      • That would be against the terms of service to let my husband play my account! THE HORROR! (shifty eyes) I would never do that! (more shifty eyes)